There are many reasons I make my husband crazy...
...my organized, methodical, thoughtful, cautious husband...
Today was a perfect example.
As I mentioned in my last post, two sons and Paul are off to Boy Scout winter camp this evening. About a month ago, I received some forms that needed to be filled out in order for Evan and Zayd to attend. One of them was a health form.
I didn't look at them.
Why would I do that?
I mean, winter camp was a month away.
Then winter camp was a week away.
Then winter camp was a day away.
Then winter camp was here.
I finally looked at the health form.
"Wow!" I thought to myself. "A three page health form. Serious stuff." When I went to Girl Scout camp, we just all hopped into cars with our sleeping bags, jams and a few clothes, and went to camp. No insurance forms for the drivers, no health forms, nothing.
I started filling out Zayd's form first.
Then I got to the section that said: Certified and licensed health-care providers recognized by the BSA to perform this exam include physicians (MD, Do), nurse practitioners, and physician's assistants.
Wait a minute. Where does it say moms? Moms should be on here.
Shit.
I called their pediatricians office and explained the situation.
Me: Is there any way I could get these health forms signed?
Receptionist: Of course. Just fax them over and we'll get them back to you in 72 hours.
Crap.
Me: Oh... uhm... I need them back today. Their camp is tonight. At 5:30 pm. I am so sorry - I didn't realize these were such elaborate health forms. Is there any way to get a signature on them this afternoon?
Receptionist: Well... it isn't too busy right now. I'll see what I can do.
Me: Thank you! Thank you! SO MUCH!
Receptionist: It's okay. It happens. We'll call you.
Whew. I'm home free...
About an hour later I get a call from the pediatrician's office. It's his nurse.
Nurse: Mrs. Amundson?
Me: Yes.
Nurse: We have a problem.
Me: Oh.
Shit
Nurse: We'll be able to sign off on Evan's health form, but not Zayd's. Zayd hasn't had a physical since 2005.
Me: Wow. Really?
Wow really?
Me: Hmmm... that's kinda bad isn't it. (I say this as a statement, not a question)
...to which she responds...
Nurse: Yes. It's not good. We like to see them once a year.
Me: Right. Of course.
Nurse: This health form requires that the physical occur in the last year. So we can't sign this.
omg - Zayd is going to kill me. Paul is going to kill me.
Me: Uhm... okay. So - is there any way to get him in today?
pause
Nurse: Today?
Apparently the nurse is like my husband. A physical is not a spontaneous event. It should be pre-meditated... kinda like murder.
Me: Sure! Today!
Nurse: Well. I suppose we can see if we can get you in. Dr. B isn't available today. But we could get you in with Dr. T.
Me: Dr. T would be great!
Nurse: I'll put you on hold. Just a moment.
A few moments later - the receptionist is back on the phone.
Receptionist: So we are going to try to get Zayd in today?
Me: Yes. Please.
Receptionist: Well we have 1:15 open.
Crap.
Me: Ohhhh... I can't do that. I have a presentation to give at 2 pm. That's the only time I am busy today. I can't cancel the presentation.
Receptionist: Hmmm... well....
Me: Is there any way you can see us earlier?
Receptionist: Okay. I see we have some time at 11:30. But that's in a half-hour.
Me: Perfect! Thank you!
I rush to my car. I work at the university on the north end of town... Zayd's school is on the south end of town. It'll take me about 15 minutes to get to his school.. and 10 minutes to get to the clinic.
I call the school as I am driving to let them know I am coming to get him.
Me: Uhm... he doesn't know what this is about. Just tell him he has an appointment.
I get to the school office at 11:10 -- oooo... I shaved 5 minutes off my time. I wasn't speeding. I don't think I was speeding.
Me: Hi Zayd! We are going to get a physical.
His eyes widen... then narrow.
Zayd: Why?
Me: I'll explain in the car.
As we head to the doctor's office, I explain what happened. The health forms I ignored for a month, the need for a doctor's signature, the fact he hasn't had a physical in 5 years.
Zayd: You haven't taken me in for a physical in five years?
Me: You've been healthy! Why take you in if everything is fine!?
Zayd: So... what happens during a physical?
Me: Oh... they just look you over to make sure you are healthy.
Zayd: What do they look over?
Me: Everything.
pause
Zayd: Everything?
pause
Me: Yes. Everything.
pause
Zayd: You mean everything. EVERYTHING?
Me: Well.. yeah. I mean... yes. Everything.
Uh oh. I hadn't considered what this meant - especially for Zayd. My tortured creative soul.
Me: It will be fine. They just peek around in that area to make sure it's all okay. Make sure there isn't anything weird going on down there.
pause
Zayd: Like what? Make sure I don't have two penises?
Me: (I burst out laughing). Well.. yes. I suppose that would be an issue...
Zayd starts laughing.
Okay - potential pitfall and tantrum avoided. Peek at privates has been cleared for landing.
After the exam... and three additional vaccines that I failed to have him get at the appropriate time... we were on our way home.
I've got health forms signed and ready to go... with five hours to spare.
As we walk up to the school together I say:
Me: I'd appreciate it if you would keep our little trip to the doctor's office between me and you.
Zayd: Why?
Me: Uhm... because dad wouldn't understand. He likes to plan things a bit more than I.
Zayd: (snort laughs). Well maybe next time I would like know you are taking me to a physical.
Me: Yeah. True. But see!? That wasn't SO bad. We have healthy bones... healthy muscles... and healthy testicles...
Zayd: MOM! (He bursts out laughing).
Me: We are all ready for winter camp!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
A camping Paul will go...
In August, I volunteered to be den mother for my 1st grader's group of Tiger Cubs. A decision I regret twice a month, every month since then.
Boy Scout activities fall onto me, because as Paul likes to remind me, "I didn't sign up for anything."
No. He didn't. However he is a boy -- which means some Boy Scout activities should really remain among the boys.
For example - Winter Camp. Winter Camp is a wintertime camping trip to Camp Wilderness near Park Rapids, MN. Two nights, three days of testosterone filled fun. To hear other scouts talk about it, Winter Camp is better than Disney World on steroids. Needless to say, my 9-year-old and 6-year-old were totally psyched for Winter Camp.
Fortunately, the 6-year-old isn't allowed to stay overnight.
Unfortunately, the 9-year-old must be accompanied by an adult.
Crap.
So... because I volunteered for Boy Scouts - Winter Camp falls under my realm. I told Paul that maybe this trip would be a great experience for Zayd to have with his father.
Paul wasn't buying it.
Except...
There are 6 adult men going... and 15 Boy Scouts.
Six adult men that I don't really know. At all. In a cabin. With 15 Boy Scouts.
So I did what any woman in my position would do, faced with the possibility of sharing a cabin with 21 males....
I used guilt.
I called him on the cell phone from our Boy Scout Pack meeting. The Pack Leader needed an answer as to whether Zayd would be attending Winter Camp. Evan, my 11-year-old, who was with me that night, also begged to attend. The Pack leader said having a sibling come along was fine.
Me: Pauuuullll?
Paul: What's up?
Me: I wanted to talk to you about Winter Camp.
pause
silence
I know he doesn't want to go. He had already told me he didn't want to go.
Paul: I'm not going.
Me: Okay. Wait a second. Don't you think the boys would love to go?
Paul: I'm sure they would. But I'm not going.
Me: Wouldn't you have LOVED to go to something like Winter Camp?
Paul: I did go... but my dad didn't have to go with me.
Me: But times have changed Paul. It's safer if a parent goes along.
Paul: That's fine Najla. If you want to go, then go.
pause
Me: Okay. That's fine. I'll go.
pause
Me: But I should tell you that there are about six dads going.
pause
Paul: Okay.
Me: And I just want to make sure you don't have a problem with me sharing a cabin in the wilderness with six adult males.
pause
Paul: Najla. I don't want to go.
Me: I totally understand and I'm willing to go. But I just thought you'd like to know.
pause
Me: And you know that I don't know these men very well.
pause
Me: And there are no other women going.
pause
Me: And I don't really know what the accommodations will be like.
I hear a big sigh on the other end.
Paul: Do they HAVE to go to Winter Camp?
Me: Paul. No. Of course they don't HAVE to go. But we both know how much they'd enjoy it.
Paul: I really don't want to.
Me: Okay - that's fine. I'm going to sign them up and I'll just go. I'm sure it will be fine. Don't you think? I mean, there really isn't anything I should be worried about... right?
pause
I hear another sigh.
Paul: Fine.
Me: Fine what?
Paul: Fine. I'll go.
:)
Note: Winter Camp is this weekend. More to come.
Boy Scout activities fall onto me, because as Paul likes to remind me, "I didn't sign up for anything."
No. He didn't. However he is a boy -- which means some Boy Scout activities should really remain among the boys.
For example - Winter Camp. Winter Camp is a wintertime camping trip to Camp Wilderness near Park Rapids, MN. Two nights, three days of testosterone filled fun. To hear other scouts talk about it, Winter Camp is better than Disney World on steroids. Needless to say, my 9-year-old and 6-year-old were totally psyched for Winter Camp.
Fortunately, the 6-year-old isn't allowed to stay overnight.
Unfortunately, the 9-year-old must be accompanied by an adult.
Crap.
So... because I volunteered for Boy Scouts - Winter Camp falls under my realm. I told Paul that maybe this trip would be a great experience for Zayd to have with his father.
Paul wasn't buying it.
Except...
There are 6 adult men going... and 15 Boy Scouts.
Six adult men that I don't really know. At all. In a cabin. With 15 Boy Scouts.
So I did what any woman in my position would do, faced with the possibility of sharing a cabin with 21 males....
I used guilt.
I called him on the cell phone from our Boy Scout Pack meeting. The Pack Leader needed an answer as to whether Zayd would be attending Winter Camp. Evan, my 11-year-old, who was with me that night, also begged to attend. The Pack leader said having a sibling come along was fine.
Me: Pauuuullll?
Paul: What's up?
Me: I wanted to talk to you about Winter Camp.
pause
silence
I know he doesn't want to go. He had already told me he didn't want to go.
Paul: I'm not going.
Me: Okay. Wait a second. Don't you think the boys would love to go?
Paul: I'm sure they would. But I'm not going.
Me: Wouldn't you have LOVED to go to something like Winter Camp?
Paul: I did go... but my dad didn't have to go with me.
Me: But times have changed Paul. It's safer if a parent goes along.
Paul: That's fine Najla. If you want to go, then go.
pause
Me: Okay. That's fine. I'll go.
pause
Me: But I should tell you that there are about six dads going.
pause
Paul: Okay.
Me: And I just want to make sure you don't have a problem with me sharing a cabin in the wilderness with six adult males.
pause
Paul: Najla. I don't want to go.
Me: I totally understand and I'm willing to go. But I just thought you'd like to know.
pause
Me: And you know that I don't know these men very well.
pause
Me: And there are no other women going.
pause
Me: And I don't really know what the accommodations will be like.
I hear a big sigh on the other end.
Paul: Do they HAVE to go to Winter Camp?
Me: Paul. No. Of course they don't HAVE to go. But we both know how much they'd enjoy it.
Paul: I really don't want to.
Me: Okay - that's fine. I'm going to sign them up and I'll just go. I'm sure it will be fine. Don't you think? I mean, there really isn't anything I should be worried about... right?
pause
I hear another sigh.
Paul: Fine.
Me: Fine what?
Paul: Fine. I'll go.
:)
Note: Winter Camp is this weekend. More to come.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
In sickness and in health...
My husband and I have differing styles of sickness.
Paul likes to be left alone when he doesn't feel good. He hibernates in the bedroom and doesn't really want or need anyone to check on him.
Problem was (and yes - I mean WAS), he thought I liked to be sick the same way.
Uh... WHAT?
This wasn't really ever a problem because I don't tend to get super sick. But a while back... I got really really sick. I had a hell of a flu virus. I was running a high temp, the room was spinning, my body ached terribly, I could not get out of bed and I couldn't sleep. I actually sobbed I felt so bad.
And Paul was nowhere to be found.
He also apparently threatened the children because none of them showed up either.
So there I was, really needing a drink of water and an ibuprofen to help with my temp and I got nothin' - no one. For FIVE HOURS.
Finally - I couldn't take it anymore. I reached over to the phone and called Paul's cell phone.
He didn't answer. He never answers. He leaves it on vibrate and apparently it doesn't vibrate enough for him to feel it...
Why the hell carry a cell if you don't answer it? (another story for another day).
Anyways... After no response from Paul... I called my father. Sobbing.
Me: Dadddd. (I am now crying uncontrollably - partly because I feel like shit and probably partly because I've been abandoned by my family)
Dad: Chino? What is it? What's wrong?
Me: Dad! I need you to come over. I am so sick and Paul hasn't checked on me and I need help. I have a fever and I feel so bad... (sobbing continues).
Dad: What do you mean? Where is Paul? Doesn't he know you are sick?
Me: He's downstairs but he hasn't come to check on me...
At this point - I mean let's be real. I've been left alone for five hours -- I could care less if my father is mad at my husband. In fact - I am hoping he is mad at my husband.
Dad: I'll be right there.
Within a few minutes, the doorbell rings and I hear Paul answer it.
I hear talking.
I hope my dad is scolding him for leaving his precious daughter alone to die in the bedroom.
My dad comes up to the bedroom.
Dad: Chino. Paul didn't know you needed him. He thought you were sleeping.
Me: For FIVE HOURS! I am so upset dad! (sobbing more)... I need some ibuprofen and some water. I can't even get up for water!
But I did have the stamina to cry and yell.
Dad: Chino. Come on now. He didn't leave you here on purpose.
Me: Would you leave mom for five hours when she is sick?
Dad: No... but Paul has four kids downstairs to take care of.
The last thing I need is commonsense talk - it just makes me want to cry.
So that's what I do. Cry. Harder.
Dad: I'll come back in a minute.
After a few minutes, Paul comes upstairs with water and medicine. He sits on the bed next to me and rubs my back. I am still upset.
Paul: I didn't know you needed me. I'm sorry.
Me: I tried calling you on your cell.
Paul: Honey - I'm sorry. I got busy with the kids. I was trying to keep them away from you. I thought you wanted to be alone.
Me: I don't want to be alone when I am sick. I want you to check on me. (I start crying again).
Paul: Okay. I'll check on you from now on. I promise. Now don't get upset. You need to rest. I need to go downstairs though with the kids.
Me: Will you check on me again?
Paul: Yes. I'll come up again.
And he did. About once an hour.
Since that first collision over sickness... Paul has adjusted to my way of being sick... and I to his. I don't bother him when he is sick. That is the way he wants it. And as much as it seems wrong to leave him alone... I force myself to do it.... even though images of him being dead in bed swirl in my head.
He now checks on me when I am sick. He comes up, asks me if I need anything, brings me water and meds, and now... even surprises me.
This last week I have had strep throat. I'm not feeling as icky as I was the last time... I am able to get up and get what I need.
But Paul has called me from work, he comes home at noon to see how I am doing. He even surprised me yesterday by bringing home my favorite magazine and a chocolate treat to cheer me up. Today, he sent me the cutest Hallmark e-card.
I'm sure it goes against his fundamental Norwegian being to attend to me in this way... but he does it anyways. Because he loves me.
And it reassures me that he cares about me enough...
to not want to find me dead in our bed.
Paul likes to be left alone when he doesn't feel good. He hibernates in the bedroom and doesn't really want or need anyone to check on him.
Problem was (and yes - I mean WAS), he thought I liked to be sick the same way.
Uh... WHAT?
This wasn't really ever a problem because I don't tend to get super sick. But a while back... I got really really sick. I had a hell of a flu virus. I was running a high temp, the room was spinning, my body ached terribly, I could not get out of bed and I couldn't sleep. I actually sobbed I felt so bad.
And Paul was nowhere to be found.
He also apparently threatened the children because none of them showed up either.
So there I was, really needing a drink of water and an ibuprofen to help with my temp and I got nothin' - no one. For FIVE HOURS.
Finally - I couldn't take it anymore. I reached over to the phone and called Paul's cell phone.
He didn't answer. He never answers. He leaves it on vibrate and apparently it doesn't vibrate enough for him to feel it...
Why the hell carry a cell if you don't answer it? (another story for another day).
Anyways... After no response from Paul... I called my father. Sobbing.
Me: Dadddd. (I am now crying uncontrollably - partly because I feel like shit and probably partly because I've been abandoned by my family)
Dad: Chino? What is it? What's wrong?
Me: Dad! I need you to come over. I am so sick and Paul hasn't checked on me and I need help. I have a fever and I feel so bad... (sobbing continues).
Dad: What do you mean? Where is Paul? Doesn't he know you are sick?
Me: He's downstairs but he hasn't come to check on me...
At this point - I mean let's be real. I've been left alone for five hours -- I could care less if my father is mad at my husband. In fact - I am hoping he is mad at my husband.
Dad: I'll be right there.
Within a few minutes, the doorbell rings and I hear Paul answer it.
I hear talking.
I hope my dad is scolding him for leaving his precious daughter alone to die in the bedroom.
My dad comes up to the bedroom.
Dad: Chino. Paul didn't know you needed him. He thought you were sleeping.
Me: For FIVE HOURS! I am so upset dad! (sobbing more)... I need some ibuprofen and some water. I can't even get up for water!
But I did have the stamina to cry and yell.
Dad: Chino. Come on now. He didn't leave you here on purpose.
Me: Would you leave mom for five hours when she is sick?
Dad: No... but Paul has four kids downstairs to take care of.
The last thing I need is commonsense talk - it just makes me want to cry.
So that's what I do. Cry. Harder.
Dad: I'll come back in a minute.
After a few minutes, Paul comes upstairs with water and medicine. He sits on the bed next to me and rubs my back. I am still upset.
Paul: I didn't know you needed me. I'm sorry.
Me: I tried calling you on your cell.
Paul: Honey - I'm sorry. I got busy with the kids. I was trying to keep them away from you. I thought you wanted to be alone.
Me: I don't want to be alone when I am sick. I want you to check on me. (I start crying again).
Paul: Okay. I'll check on you from now on. I promise. Now don't get upset. You need to rest. I need to go downstairs though with the kids.
Me: Will you check on me again?
Paul: Yes. I'll come up again.
And he did. About once an hour.
Since that first collision over sickness... Paul has adjusted to my way of being sick... and I to his. I don't bother him when he is sick. That is the way he wants it. And as much as it seems wrong to leave him alone... I force myself to do it.... even though images of him being dead in bed swirl in my head.
He now checks on me when I am sick. He comes up, asks me if I need anything, brings me water and meds, and now... even surprises me.
This last week I have had strep throat. I'm not feeling as icky as I was the last time... I am able to get up and get what I need.
But Paul has called me from work, he comes home at noon to see how I am doing. He even surprised me yesterday by bringing home my favorite magazine and a chocolate treat to cheer me up. Today, he sent me the cutest Hallmark e-card.
I'm sure it goes against his fundamental Norwegian being to attend to me in this way... but he does it anyways. Because he loves me.
And it reassures me that he cares about me enough...
to not want to find me dead in our bed.
Marriage and Mania
Another blog. Another reason for both you and I to procrastinate.
For those of you who enjoy NajMania... I think you'll enjoy Backside as well - because let's face it, there is a marriage behind all the antics of our children. Some of the stories will be funny, some sweet, some might be serious ... I mostly hope you'll find all of them comforting and helpful.
Because marriage, commitment, partnerships - even friendships for that matter - are hard. Damn hard. And the media does us no good by romanticizing it all.
I have always found it soothing to hear other people's stories about their committed relationships. The blemishes included. It helps me to remember that its a rough road, but it is worth it. We are not alone in this. Thank God.
So - on the Backside you'll find stories about two middle-aged people trying to raise four well-adjusted boys, while not losing their connection to each other.
Please comment often! I want to hear from you! And please share this with others who you think will enjoy this.
Thanks for checking in!
For those of you who enjoy NajMania... I think you'll enjoy Backside as well - because let's face it, there is a marriage behind all the antics of our children. Some of the stories will be funny, some sweet, some might be serious ... I mostly hope you'll find all of them comforting and helpful.
Because marriage, commitment, partnerships - even friendships for that matter - are hard. Damn hard. And the media does us no good by romanticizing it all.
I have always found it soothing to hear other people's stories about their committed relationships. The blemishes included. It helps me to remember that its a rough road, but it is worth it. We are not alone in this. Thank God.
So - on the Backside you'll find stories about two middle-aged people trying to raise four well-adjusted boys, while not losing their connection to each other.
Please comment often! I want to hear from you! And please share this with others who you think will enjoy this.
Thanks for checking in!
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