Mr. Handyman

Paul is a handyman. I think in a former life he was involved in building the Great Pyramids. I am consistently amazed by the type of home improvement and fix-it projects that he undertakes, and successfully completes with only the aid of him mind, and several hundred trips to Menard's.


The other day, the garbage disposal was making an awful sound. At least that is what Zach said. I could care less what it sounds like as long as the food is going down the sink pipe. I mean, what is a garbage disposal supposed to sound like? Bach?


I ignored the sound... because I know what will happen if something is wrong with the garbage disposal...


It will become Paul's obsession until it is fixed.


Unfortunately, the next time I used the garbage disposal - Paul heard it.


Uh oh...

Paul will now be officially undertaking a fix-it project. I understand that many women find this appealing, and maybe even slightly sexually exciting...

I find myself caught between vague to moderate annoyance.

Believe me - I do understand how wonderful it is to have a partner who is so able to tackle these types of projects. Others spend thousands of dollars having people come over to fix sinks, drains, hang up curtains, put in wood floors, build mudrooms, repair drywall, miter and cut wood trim, remove drywall, paint the outside of the house, fix the computer, shingle the roof, grow elaborate ferns, identify any flower in North America, do laundry... etc. etc. etc.

Why does it annoy me - just a teeny weeny bit? Because it takes FOREVER. It takes SEVERAL trips to the hardware store. And because the longer it takes him, the more he gets annoyed with the project AND the more annoyed he gets with all of us.

I have learned to hunker down for a couple of days and just resign myself to the fact that Paul will now be fixing something we need to have fixed and it will take a while. He will be in a grumpy mood -- but he will not be as grumpy as he would be if he had to pay someone to fix it.

Which is kinda weird now that I think about it... because I can't really think of anything we have ever had someone else fix... except maybe the car's transmission. Paul couldn't fix that. Otherwise, here is a list of things he has done:

Installed the electric heat in our tiled bathroom
Tiled the bathroom
Took down drywall
Put up drywall
Textured the drywall
put up wood trim
put in hard wood maple floors
put in laminate floors
put in carpet
took out carpet
took down walls, cupboards,
installed lighting, fans, etc
put in a new whirly bird on the roof
painted the entire outside of the house (before we had it sided)
Built a mudroom for me
Built all my walk in closet shelving, drawers and accessories
He does a fantastic job of hanging pictures

And he doesn't just DO these projects. He does them RIGHT. There are no short-cuts with Paul when it comes to home repair. He does these repairs like a skilled surgeon... only he isn't able to sew things up in a few hours... it is more like a three-day total organ transplant.

What's a girl gonna do?

I just avoid eye contact with him... and when it finally gets done, I lavish him with praise and tell him how lucky I am to have such an accomplished handy-man for a husband. And then I hold my breath...

for the next thing to fall apart.